Does She Want to Be Approached?

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You’ll learn the signs to look for that tell you if a woman wants to be approached. And if she seems open to it, how to approach in a way that feels really good for both of you (in other words, no more cringe-worthy approaches!).



You'll discover the indications to look for that tell you if a lady wishes to be approached. And if she appears open up to it, how to approach in such a way that feels actually helpful for both of you (to put it simply, no more cringe-worthy methods!).

Let's start with how to understand whether she's open to being approached. There are 2 main facets to the indications you'll be attuned to:

There's a time and a location:

The Environment: Is it Threatening or Safe, Social, and Pleasant

Threatening environments consists of ...

dark alleys (undoubtedly).
walking home alone in the evening.
really crowded buses or trains.
anywhere "questionable" or where women might feel especially risky.


So steer clear of these types of places.. no woman wants to be approached there.


Safe, social, and pleasant environments include locations like ...

Out and about throughout the day in a safe, enjoyable area with individuals around.
Any public, populated place like a grocery store or a busy walkway.

A cocktail party, houseparty, or any celebration out with buddies.
Dance place like a salsa club or swing dancing social.

Anything hobbies-based, like a cooking workshop, a language class, or a group tour of your own city.
Anything group-physical-activity-based, like flag football or social dancing.
As long as it's a "excellent" environment, it's a practical place to approach. Now let's transfer to (2) her, to see whether she's more closed or open.

Her Availability: Closed or Open

A lady's body movement will tell you everything you need to understand.

No matter what however, you're not going to get a "Come On In!" indication from a female 9 times out of 10 ... or most likely, 99 times out of 100.

So it's essential to recognize whether she's wearing a "Do Not Disturb" or a "Please Knock First" on her facial expression.

Here are facial expressions to search for ...

  • Rigid or open facial muscles?
  • Tense or Stressed?
  • Unhappy or happy mouth?
  • Frowning or smiling
  • thinking or responsive eyes?

Here is body language to look for ...

  • Shallow or relaxed breathing?
  • Hiked up or smoothed down shoulders?
  • Fidgety or loosely held hands?

The latter is what you want to search for in a welcoming way. These are your most strong signs and starting points for making a warm connection.

Just bear in mind that even if a woman doesn't necessarily have warm and open body language, she still might be responsive as soon as you really approach her (for instance, if she's in a tiff but an interaction with you makes her day more vibrant).

How to approach well

This will be easy due to the fact that we're back to the two things we've already been discussing-- the just two things that matter in terms of reading the circumstance and a female:

What you say will follow precisely along those lines:

Either talk about the environment (1 ), or give her a sincere compliment (2 ).

There are nuances of how to do this in specific locations (what to state at a cooking class versus a ballroom dancing lesson versus a houseparty), however in general in shared activities it is pretty user-friendly to discuss the environment.

Here, I 'd like to offer you a general framework for how to approach a woman you see out and about because that's what I get inquired about most.

While out and about, start with ...

" I saw you and I had to come state 'hi'" ...
Then, depending upon how open she seems, continue.

If she's NOT open, tell her,

" You're stunning, and I thought you should complimented today. Have a lovely day!"  Then go on your merry way understanding you brightened her afternoon (you gentleman, you!).
OR if she IS appearing open, continue with a compliment that comes directly from your heart:

Anything about what she's wearing, how she looks, anything at all that you notice about her (except for, obviously, intimate comments about her body).
From there ...

Either discuss the environment (the beautiful day outside, what she has in her grocery basket, and so on. whatever is obvious and pertinent as a discussion starter),.
OR ask her a question related to the environment or your compliment, however ONLY if it is 100% sincere.
For example, a client of mine was at a talk and noticed an attractive woman going back to the dessert table after the talk ended. He made his way over to her and said, "Looks like they still have a few of the same desserts they had prior to the talk.".

This is what naturally struck him to state. She was taking a look at the desserts, and he did too, aligning himself with her through a shared experience that was already her focus.

She warmly and quickly reacted, "Yeah, I was considering opting for that last chocolate-covered strawberry, however I don't want to take the last one.".

They laughed, and he stated, "Go all out!" and they were off to a terrific discussion. From there, he transitioned into the subject of the talk/ why they were each there, and they had a lively discussion that ended with plans to see each other again (they're going on a date this month).

This type of authentic, streaming technique is completely different from the BS method, aka saying or asking something you don't care about.

For instance, NEVER "request directions" when you do not offer a flying shit about the directions. That's deceptive and weak, and a woman with dignity can smell that a mile away. So just don't do it.

Whatever you state need to be SINCERE, something you actually thought of in your own head about her or about the environment. That's it.

So ... does she wish to be approached?
That's now within your ability to discern.

You now understand crucial signs to search for in an environment and in a woman's body movement and facial expressions.

You likewise understand what to do when she does appear open and how to roll into the conversation authentically.

You even have an exit plan if things don't go as well as you 'd hoped (you get to leave as a bold gentleman).

Happy approaching!


These articles are created as a way to educate our members with tips and tricks of finding love in this day and age.   It's a very different landscape out there than it was even 10 years ago.  Everything is different with COVID and people are struggling.   We want to help you find your person at "The Flock".   That's the whole point.  But to do that, education is important.  Love and respect, Todd Staples.  Founder of"The Flock"