Want to know my very secret way how I became a more social person? I started talking to everyone-- it's truly that easy.
I meet men who continuously struggle with talking to others and want to know the quick remedy that's going to make them a social butterfly. When I say "You have to press yourself to talk to everyone you experience through your every day life," they are taken back and do not believe it. They believe I'm presenting a cop-out response and there's some hidden reality that I'm not sharing.
Like anything else, becoming social is something you have to develop and actively work on. You need to get the experience, have some failures, discover your lessons, and keep practicing. You can't expect to be competent in something without using a hands-on approach. So why, then, do we seek the magic tablet when it comes to being more socially confident and enhancing our dating life?
Years back, I wasn't totally comfy in my own skin when around other people. I struggled to share the genuine me because I was afraid of what people would think, what they would say, and that they might reject me. It was a silly fear, however it was real in my own mind. I recognized that the only way things would improve to face them head-on.
I fell in love with people, their stories, and their distinct personalities. I became interested to hear what others had to say and to share my own ideas and passions with them. Instead of shying away from new faces, I freely welcomed them and got thrilled to connect with them.
Naturally, I also became more comfy and confident with myself. The worries I had of being judged dissolved. I enjoyed presenting the real me to others and it depended on them to accept that person or not. I was being the best me I could be and I felt much better than I ever had before-- it was liberating and altered my life completely.
Start small and interact with the working folks you come across everyday. The barista who makes your morning coffee, the toll booth guy, the cashier ringing you up at the supermarket. Even basic small talk like "Hey, how are you?" and "Thank you, have an excellent night!" (with a warm smile) will begin to make a huge difference. Seriously, I make chit chat with each and every single person and you ought to too!
As for dating and getting more comfy with ladies, it's the exact same thing. You can't be afraid of striking up discussion with women or you will not have the dating outcomes you want. Introduce yourself to that lady sitting on the train, the charming blonde reading Vonnegut in the cafe, the pretty brunette standing behind you at the post office. You'll never know if it'll become something remarkable until you make an effort.
Stop searching for that social elixir and start making things happen.