How to Flirt Online

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There are some general rules of thumb to go by when sending that first message (sometimes called a "flirt") to someone new. These tips will make you a more attractive possibility in a sea of people out there..


Flirting online can be quite similar to looking for that first job after college. You know the type of person you’re looking for and there are a great number that seem to fit your criteria. The question is how do you flirt and flirt well so that your matches turn into dates?

1. Send personalized messages. Often the first contact you make with someone online is through a message. It may be a short and sweet or you may have the expanse of a private Facebook message to work with. This is one of the most important messages you will send because the person will form their first impression of you off of this message. If you’re sending the same basic message to every person, they will know. They will see that you didn’t take the time to read through their profile and delete the message. You don’t have to take the time to read every little thing, but pick out some qualities and mention them in the message. For example: “It’s so cool that you like to rock climb. I’ve only ever tried indoor climbing. I’d love to learn some tips from you. It’d be a great sport to get my little brother involved in.”

2. Let your personality shine. Keeping with the above example, we see that the sender’s personality is coming out. The person who sent this message probably likes to try new things and also considers family important. Think about why you are compatible with this person. In your first message, you have to try to convince the person that you are compatible and worthy of a response.

3. Ask a question or imply response. The above example could end with the statement “we should go rock climbing sometime.” If this is too forward for the first email, make sure you at least imply a response. “You’re a very interesting person. I’d love the chance to get to know you more. I’m really excited about your response.”

4. Chat during an online game. Lucky you! Your effort has paid off and someone has responded. They are flattered that you took so much time learning about them. You could go the traditional route and exchange email after email until a date is made or someone loses interest, but what fun is that. After a few emails have been exchanged, invite them to a game online. is a great place to go. You can play card games, board games and even pool online! See if you can find out what their favorite game is and ask them to play with you. Don’t be afraid to share some friendly banter during the game. You can even turn it into a tournament. The loser has to pay for the first date.

5. Use your cheering Squad. If you’re sending a message through a social networking site like Twitter or Facebook, chances are you found this person through something in common. Perhaps you share a friend or two. This connection creates a certain level of comfort. Not only can these people talk you up to the person you are interested in, but you can use them to propose a first meeting. “April and Mark are coming over to watch the game Sunday. Do you want to tag along?” With encouragement from common friends, chances are the person your interested will give you a shot,

It’s show time. Your online flirting has officially turned into a first date. If you’ve been honest, don’t keep yourself up with worry. Your online flirting and comments from friends have shaped the person’s image of you. They have agreed to meet you because they are now interested in you as well. Put your best foot forward and have fun!