Every single day in some way, shape or form we are inundated with the elusive “perfect” relationship that we are supposed to be chasing after. You know the one – it’s the one that’s flowers and rainbows all the time, the one where everything is all smiles and laughter.
Society would have you think we should be skipping to our own soundtrack with our significant other hand in hand with big smiles plastered on our faces each and every day. Like these people.. (yes i left the stockphoto watermark there on purpose)
But let’s get real, you don’t want the perfect relationship and I don’t want the perfect relationship. No one really wants the perfect relationship. We want something that feels perfect to us, for us.
Google “perfect relationship” and you’re going to get a wealth of websites telling you what to do to “create the perfect relationship”. But relationships aren’t something that you mold into what you want, they unfold the way they’re supposed to and it either works or it doesn’t. If you’re spending all your time trying to change yourself or your partner into what you want then why don’t you just find someone else to date and save yourself the time and energy?
In the perfect relationship you aren’t supposed to fight, you’re supposed to debate. This is all good in theory but at some point you’re going to get into a fight with your girlfriend or your boyfriend or your fiancé or your spouse and you know what? That’s OK. In fact sometimes it’s kind of a good thing. Sure, you need to respect your partner and you don’t need to be cutting them down or ruining their self-esteem, but sometimes it just feels good to get all your feelings out in the open and blow off some steam. And if you’re not fighting at all then one of you is probably lying about something or you’re one of those sacred few who genuinely get along 100% of the time (really?!).
It’s not going to be a flawless experience; it’s going to take work, and a lot of it. Girls really got the short end of the stick on this one. It started with fairytales and carried over into chick flicks. We grew up thinking that there may be one hurdle to overcome, but once we overcame that we would live happily ever after. Well, here’s a newsflash on that one: not going to happen. There’s going to be many hurdles and it’s going to take a lot of work – but all those imperfections are what make it a fun adventure!
We need to stop spending so much time looking for the perfect relationship and focus on looking for someone who we just genuinely love to be around – imperfections and all. You don’t want perfect, perfect is boring. It’s the imperfections that make it exciting and keep the relationship alive.